Why Asking for What you Want is Key to Your Success


Is your inbox flooded with everyone and their mother telling you how to set your goals for 2021? 

I am exhausted already and it’s just January 2nd!

Holy shit, people – my head is spinning. And that is coming from someone who likes to plan, create roadmaps, make lists, color code my day planner and find ways to reach the finish line. I am the most type A person – but in the most chaotic way.January is not the magic month! Setting goals and intentions should be a daily practice and part of your ritual. I wake up in the morning and set my 3-5 big tasks for the day. Those tasks are directly related to one of my big, quarterly goals. But – before you can even get to those smaller bites (tasks) – you’ve gotta create the plan – the big picture AKA the Big Kahunah

How do you do that – you ask?

By building the foundation. And that foundation starts with casting the big picture vision for the next 2-5 years. It’s not a “January” thing!

The January thing are those stupid resolutins that ALWAYS make us feel shitty about ourselves. We feel shitty because we toss them to the side of the road by week 2 or 3 and when that happens we beat the crap out of ourselves. Also known as, eating the entire 2 lb box of Sees Candies! I heard you chuckle from way over here – I see you.

When I realized that resolutions are for the birds, I had to come up with another way or system that would help me keep my promises to myself. I kept making stupid promises to myself that I could never keep and when I let myself down and stopped showing up for myself, I ate the candy or the loaf of bread or smoked a little too much pot and then binged watched something ridiculous…and there goes the resolutions!! 

January is a month where we set all kinds of expectations for ourselves. We put down the cake, exercise everyday – for the first 10 days, drink tons of green juice, meditate and even play nice with all the humans in our home.

Then life happens…

…and we allow the dumb bells to collect dust, we eat the cookie (and the carbs), we slowly stop showing up for ourselves and day after day we break the promises to ourselves that we just recently vowed to ourselves.

And then we self sabotage.

Sound familiar?

Setting goals should not be a January thing. It should be a yearly, quarterly, monthly, weekly and daily thing. Why I know this to be true you ask.

Because until I set concrete goals for myself, with actionable and measurable outcomes – nothing ever got done. Or things got started, but never seemed to be completed. And that just left a lot of loose ends and unfinished projects. It wasn’t until I found books like these (my all time favorite business books for getting shit done), I was making to-do lists for my to-do lists.

When I started seeing big results for myself, that’s when I was able to make a bigger impact with my clients, associates and my communities. The same principles I have been using for myself have been incorporated into my 1:1 private practice, my group programs and some of the volunteer mentorship gigs with some non profits that have all become like family to me.

So, whether you are an innovator and thought leader, a CEO or a mom, raising a bunch of kids, goals are the key to getting even the smallest tasks accomplished. And let’s get real here – this past year, 2020, I am giving you all a PASS. If you didn’t complete most of what you wanted to accomplish this past year – I understand. Let’s simply call these last 10 months a “hiatus”. And right now, that little vacation is over and it’s time to get back to work. 

So, let’s do this!!

One of the first things I do with my clients when we begin working together is give them what I call the “Roadmap Exercise”. Before we can plot and plan the next year, it’s really important that you take a look at the year prior. I know, I know – it was “unprecedented”! Okay – so what! You still have to take a look at it. I may have not met my financial goals this past year, but I sure as heck reached many of my business building goals. And because of that – I do have way more clarity on where I am headed, who I want to help and how I am going to do that and because of that – I do feel that this next year will be more about the financial. 

Right now, I want you to grab a pen and some paper or your favorite journal and let’s dig a little.

In order to build a better future, first get clear on the past. Ask yourself these questions about 2020:

1.    How would you grade your performance for the year?

2.    What accomplishments were you the most proud of?

3.    What disappointments or limiting beliefs did you have?

4.    What lessons did you learn?

As soon as you review and  get clear on these 4 key points, you can begin to think about the year ahead.

Let’s now fast forward to the end of 2021. If you had a crystal ball and you could see yourself in one year from now, ask yourself the following questions:

1.    What did I do, create, experience or accomplish in 2021 in order to declare this my breakthrough year?

2.    What did I do differently in 2021 to achieve these huge goals?

3.    What did I have to sacrifice in order to stay focused on the end game?

4.    How did I show up for myself in order to create these achievements?

5.    Who did I have to become in order to be the person I always imagined myself being?

In the first part of this exercise, we may have been looking at our regrets. It’s in those regrets that we find the fire and drive to create the opportunities in the second set of questions. 

Do you see that?

Once we work through this stuff, which can get heavy, I ask them to write down 60 wants, desires, hopes and dreams they would like to manifest and achieve over the next 2 to 5 years. If you want to buy 40 pairs of expensive sneakers – write it down. If you want to volunteer in orphanages in Uganda – write it down. If you want to pay off your mortgage – write it down. If you want to bake 300 kinds of cookies – write it down. 

What we want (our goals) are not always about business and money. It’s important to recognize all that we want out of life, because in order to achieve any of it – you have to create the plan. And the plan can not be crafted or built until you know exactly what you want. After they write these 60 “wants” down, we then move into Stage of One (Imagine It) of my 5 Stage Framework. 

Over time and working with 100’s of people, using this framework, the best way to describe is a better and way more creative “business/life” plan. I am able to get them to break it so far down into bite sized tasks and milestones that dreaming about taking 6 months off to travel the world, no longer sounds like a childish fantasy. It actually becomes way more realistic when you can bite off smaller chunks of a bigger goal and when that starts to happen – the foundation for the structure you are building becomes tangible and realistic. 

Want to know how we break it down??

Shoot me an email or book a discovery call here. Or better yet – join the Think Tank (here) – we talk about a lot of this stuff there. It’s also a great way to stay in the loop on what I am cooking up and…the community is a cool group of humans! Come hang out with us!!

And after you do the exercise above – come back here and tell me about it! I’d love to learn what you discovered about yourself!! 


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